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  "I'm beginning to think what I want isn't the issue." He reached for her, splashing water around her shoulders as he did. "I'm beginning to think we have no choice." His arms entwined around her back, but instead of the kiss she had expected, he just pulled her through the water until she was leaning against him. He held her as if he wasn't sure whether to shake her or kiss her.

  If Adam had kissed her, Paige would have resisted. But his restraint was enough to catch her off guard. His body was as tense as hers, and she knew he was fighting himself. Still he held her as if she were fragile glass. Fragile glass about to shatter. "I never know what you'll do next," she said, her words strangely like a groan.

  "You're a woman of the world. Can't you guess?"

  "Not with you. You might stand here holding me like a brother forever."

  He pulled her closer and ground his hips against hers. "Do I feel like a brother, kaihana?"

  "You don't feel like a cousin, either." Paige lifted her face to his. "You feel like a man who wants a woman."

  "And do all the men you respond to feel this way?"

  "It's possible I exaggerated the number."

  His lips curved slowly in a dark, secret smile. "And will you be thinking of any of them when I kiss you?"

  "I imagine that when you kiss me, I won't be thinking at all."

  "Both of us had better be thinking, or it won't stop at a kiss." Adam bent his head and took her mouth with his, not gently, as he had kissed her on the porch, but with the passion that had built slowly in him since that moment. The battle he had fought only heightened what he was feeling now. He filled his senses with the essence of her, the full, sweet flavor of her mouth, the sleek warmth of her body, the subtle spicy fragrance that was as much a part of her as the blood coursing through her veins. His hands learned her ripe curves, and the rest of his body learned the pain of denial.

  Paige leaned into Adam, her lips parting under the insistent pressure of his. She wanted to suppress her response, just as she suppressed the expression of all her feelings, but Adam made that impossible. In seconds he broke through defenses it had taken her a lifetime to perfect. As the kiss deepened, she let herself move against him, learning his strength and his warmth by degrees until her arms were clasped around his waist and her body was bonded to his.

  Only then did he end the kiss. He pulled her head to his shoulder and tightened his arms around her. "The world may not revolve around us, kaihana, but our own worlds are spinning out of control."

  She heard his battle for control. She tried to pretend the kiss had been less than it had. "We both know how little this meant. We're diversions for each other, nothing more."

  Adam heard her words. At the same time he felt her arms tighten spasmodically around him. They mocked her denial and proclaimed her need. "Not diversions," he reassured her. "And not substitutes."

  "What, then?" She forced herself to unwrap her arms and push him away.

  "Something that has no name." He waited until she was almost out of reach, then easily pulled her back to him. This time his fingers tightened on her shoulders to hold her still. Her mouth eluded his for only a moment; then she was locked in his embrace again. In another moment, she was embracing him.

  Desire ran through her in hot, shuddering waves, and she felt the full strength of Adam's answering desire as she pressed against him. She knew in that moment how much she wanted him and how wrong it would be to have what she wanted. He could hurt her, and, just as surely, she could hurt him. They were not diversions, not substitutes.

  "Something that has no name?" She moaned the words as he lifted her and trailed kissed down her neck to the soft flesh about her bathing suit. "Adam, the name is tormentors." Her knees gave way as he nudged aside the strap of her suit. "Haven't both of us had enough torment not to want more?"

  And because he knew that, in the end, that was exactly what they would bring each other, he stilled, his fingers biting into her waist for control. He was suddenly cold, as if the water had been transformed into an icy spring. His cheek fell against her chest, and he listened to the speeding rhythm of her heart. Her skin was wet satin, and for just a moment he let himself mourn what would never be.

  Paige anchored her fingers in his hair as his fingers loosened and he let her slide fully back into the water. Her hand was unsteady, and although he had managed to wipe all traces of expression off his face, somehow she was unable to do the same. Her eyes shone with vulnerability, and Adam knew that for the rest of his life, he would remember the way they searched his face.

  Little by little she regained control, covering what she felt. Finally she stepped away. "I've used up enough of your day. We'd better be getting back."

  He knew that would be best, but as she turned to head to shore, he grabbed her hand and held her still. "I would never willingly bring you torment, kaihana."

  "What would you bring me, then?" she asked softly. When he didn't—or couldn't—answer, she pulled her hand from his and left the water.

  Paige and Adam tried to avoid touching each other for the rest of the morning. What conversation they made was strained and polite, as if they had never progressed beyond being strangers.

  Although the areas of the thermals Adam had initially shown her had been filled with interesting phenomena, there had been natural pathways leading to them. Adam had explained that these were the areas local people visited, and, with a knowledgeable guide, they were safe enough.

  There were other areas, however, vast uncharted territory where few ventured, only those who, like Adam, knew and respected the land's idiosyncrasies. Here there were no paths. The land was as treacherous as a quicksand-filled swamp, its dangers hidden by the thin shells of rocks, the seeming innocence of glistening silent pools. Adam understood that the rocks would give way to roiling cauldrons and the silent pools could spurt boiling water from hidden fissures. He warned Paige as they explored.

  Adam guided her through one such area, coaching her on where to place her feet, where not to touch. Paige had believed his warnings, but as they walked along a steaming cliff stratified with all the colors of the earth, she developed a profound respect for his knowledge.

  "I was in Hawaii when Hurricane Eve struck," she said, hesitantly accepting his hand as they crossed a narrow ledge leading to an innocent grassy plain. "I thought I'd discovered all I needed to know about Mother Nature's fury."

  "There's always something to learn." Adam dropped Paige's hand, then leapt a narrow crevice. Turning, he held out his arms to her. "Don't look down. I'll catch you."

  Without thinking, she leapt. She felt his arms tighten around her momentarily. Then he moved away. If he'd felt anything at all, he didn't show it. "Do you know where we are?" he asked.

  She shook her head.

  "We're on the other side. After a short walk we'll be on my pasture land."

  Disappointment that their morning together had ended filled her. Hiding it, she spun slowly, as if trying to get her bearings. "I'm thoroughly turned around."

  Adam continued in the lecture mode he had been using since their swim. "We circled several times. Loosely, the thermals are bottle-shaped. If the bottle lay on the ground, your house would be at the lower middle. My land is on the upper top. One of the easiest ways for either of us to enter is at the bottleneck, on either side of the Valley of Regrets."

  "How much did I see?"

  "About three big sips."

  "I've seen a blowup of the area. The thermals didn't seem that big."

  "If you could cover them by auto or even in a logical progression on foot, they wouldn't seem so large. But we had to backtrack constantly. We were actually near your house when we swam."

  She hadn't realized. "How long will it take me to see the rest?"

  "Another day or two to see even the highlights."

  "Where do you search for the mauri?"

  "We didn't see that area today."

  "When will we?"

  He was no longer the lecturer. One eyebrow l
ifted, as if the cynical Adam had reasserted himself. "How wise will it be to spend that time together?"

  She tossed her head. "We'll manage. Neither of us lacks self-control. We proved that today."

  "Is that what we proved?"

  "I want to help you look for the mauri. I hope you're not going to go back on your word."

  "Never."

  "Good, then I'll wait to hear from you."

  He smiled his most taunting smile. "Are you saying goodbye for the day?"

  She became aware that she was far from home, and the way back was through the thermals. "I'm at your mercy, aren't I?"

  "What a pleasure that would be." His smile warmed for a moment, then disappeared. "Granny's expecting us for tea. Then I'll drive you home."

  "Aren't you tired of feeding me?"

  Adam turned and started through the field. He was tired of nothing about her, but telling her wouldn't change a thing. "Don't fish for compliments. Just come home with me and have tea."

  And because she had no choice, she followed.

  In minutes Four Hill Farm spread out before them. By the time they reached the pasture nearest the house, Paige was exhausted. Since they were just in time to see two of Adam's workers transfer a mob of sheep from that pasture to another, she rested, leaning on the wooden fence to watch the remarkable maneuverings of two dogs who looked like Cornwall. Adam observed with her.

  "It's a pretty sight, isn't it?" Paige asked as she watched the dogs and men work the sheep, entranced. "Those dogs have more sense than half the people I know."

  Adam was surprised by her obvious enjoyment of a spectacle he never tired of himself. "Those dogs have more sense than one of the men working them." He whistled sharply after the dogs had succeeded in moving the sheep in the right direction. One of the men turned, and Adam beckoned.

  "Be glad you don't speak Maori," he said as the young man walked toward them.

  Paige turned to him, puzzled, but she understood immediately when Adam began a harangue that would have been unmistakable in any language.

  She compared the two men as the volume of their conversation increased. The younger man was dark-haired, like Adam, but he was stockier and smiled easily. His eyes were the same midnight hue, but even when he smiled, they were lit with rebellion.

  The argument ceased abruptly, although Paige would have bet that neither man was satisfied. There was a short silence before Adam spoke in English. "Paige Duvall, I'd like to introduce my cousin, Pat Tomoana."

  She held out her hand politely, but Pat smiled and shook his head, wiping his hands on his trousers. "You don't want to shake," he protested boyishly. "I smell like an old leg of mutton."

  "Does Granny know you're back?" Adam asked.

  "I stopped by and saw her this morning before I came up here."

  "And Hira?"

  "She's forgiven me. You should do the same, cousin."

  "And if someday I don't?"

  Pat shrugged. "We're family."

  "Don't count on the old ways to protect you forever."

  Pat seemed to be struggling to look remorseful. "I won't do it again."

  "And don't count on me believing that." Adam pushed himself away from the fence. "Ready, Paige?"

  She smiled her goodbye to Pat, then followed Adam down the hill toward his house. "I think I'd do just about anything not to be on the other end of one of your lectures," she commented. From the corner of her eye she could see the muscle in Adam's clenched jaw still jumping in anger.

  "He was lucky it was only a lecture."

  "Hira was the singer at the hangi, wasn't she?"

  "My niece."

  Paige put together what she knew and what she'd heard. This was obviously a family drama, and not just the first act. Families fascinated her. She had never had enough of her own to understand what made them fight or stay together. She had grown up watching other people's from afar and wondering.

  "You stick by our own, don't you?" Paige wasn't prepared for the strange look Adam gave her. The question had been rhetorical.

  Adam's answer—if he had planned to make one—was interrupted by a high-pitched shout from the yard behind the house. Paige watched as Jeremy barreled across the ground at top speed to throw himself into his father's arms. She had a sudden, perverse inclination to hug the child herself. Dressed in dark overalls and a plaid shirt, Jeremy was the same sturdy male cherub she had met on her front porch. With his face aglow with love for his father, he stirred maternal feelings she hadn't even known she'd had.

  Wrapped in his devotion for his son, Adam stirred feelings in her, too. She liked seeing him this way: relaxed, careless about showing love, proud of the little boy in his arms. She felt a bond, as if something was right about their being together. It was different from the strong physical attraction she felt, but just as overwhelming. And possibly more dangerous.

  "Say hello to Miss Duvall, Jeremy," Adam prompted after Jeremy had settled down.

  Jeremy obeyed with a one-syllable hello.

  Paige murmured her response without quite looking at him, watching out of the corner of her eye, as she waited for him to move as far away from her as his father's arms would allow. Instead she saw that Jeremy was watching her inquisitively. Faced with the chance to begin establishing a relationship with the little boy, she was at a loss for what to do.

  Just as she was sure she ought to say something, anything, to break the silence, a bell rang from the direction of the house. "We're here just in time," Adam said. He set Jeremy on the ground. "Run ahead and tell Granny we're coming."

  Jeremy said something in Maori, and Adam smiled. "Yes, she's going to eat with us. But I promise she won't eat you."

  Paige peeked at the little boy just in time to see a fleeting smile cross his face. His eyes held hers for just a second before he scurried down the rest of the hill. "Did he smile at me?" she asked when Jeremy was out of earshot.

  Adam glanced at her curiously. "Would you have noticed?"

  "I like children. I just don't know what to do with them."

  "Much the way you feel about dogs?"

  "Much the way I feel about you," she added dryly. "I like you, Adam, but damned if I know what to do with you."

  "Or about me."

  She nodded. "Or about you." She stopped at the feel of his hand on her arm. Each separate finger seemed to mark her skin.

  "We'll swim together again."

  "No, I—"

  "We'll swim together again," he repeated. "We'll protest what's happening between us and swear we're stronger than it is. And then, finally, we'll realize we aren't stronger at all. And when that day comes, kaihana, you'll know what to do with me, and I with you."

  Chapter 9

  Paige pressed her nose to Mihi's as Adam looked on. The old woman seemed tired, and Paige regretted accepting Adam's summons to lunch.

  "I'll just be a moment getting everything on the table," Mihi told them as she headed toward the kitchen.

  Paige turned to Adam. "I wish she'd let me help."

  "I wondered if you were still speaking to me."

  She cocked her head. Not a word had been exchanged since Adam's surprising declaration. "How was I supposed to answer you?"

  "A simple yes would have been nice."

  "Nice, but not necessarily true." As soon as the words were out of her mouth, Paige regretted them. They were as firm as a dish of chocolate mousse. "Not true at all," she amended.

  Adam laid the back of his hand against her cheek. "I suppose we'll see."

  She didn't want to move away. But she did. All she had to do was succumb to one more touch, one more caress, one more kiss. Then his prediction would come true. She would know what to do with him, and he with her.

  But neither of them would know what to do afterward.

  Jeremy came into the room, and instead of leaving as soon as he realized Paige was there, he sidled along the wall, keeping his eyes on her until he came to a chair. Settling himself, he took his wooden top out of his po
cket and, pulling the braided cord, began to spin it on the flat chair arm.

  Paige moved a little closer to watch, and they stood that way until Mihi called them to eat.

  They had almost finished their meal when a knock on the door brought Adam to his feet. Pat strode in and murmured something in Maori. Adam ran his hand through his hair in frustration as he turned to Paige. "Kaihana, can you wait to be driven home? I've an emergency to deal with."

  Not for the first time, she wished she spoke Maori. "Of course."

  "Thank you." He passed Mihi, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek before he disappeared.

  "I hope everything's all right," Paige said.

  "One of his ewes is dying. She's part of a special line he's been breeding."

  Paige remembered the sheep Adam had brought in from a far pasture. "One of the ones about to give birth?"

  "The lamb was born a few minutes before Pat came to get Adam, but the mother isn't going to make it."

  "What will happen to the baby?"

  Mihi looked sad. "I'm afraid the baby will die, too. I've raised a few by hand, but it's not a job I have the strength for these days. Unless another ewe accepts the lamb, I'm afraid Adam will have to dispose of it."

  Paige wondered what made her accept lamb on the dinner table, while the idea of a motherless lamb dying made her shudder. "Surely someone would want it. Maybe Adam could give it to someone else to raise and keep."

  "Do you know how many lambs are born each year in New Zealand, dear? I'm afraid it wouldn't be much of a gift."

  Paige heard a rustling noise as Jeremy got up from the table. He flashed a grin at her before he left, carrying his own plate into the kitchen. She was startled by more than his burst of spontaneity. Not only had Jeremy smiled at her, the smile had been exactly like one of his father's. And her heart was reacting almost the same way. Lifting her eyes to Mihi's, she wanted to tell her what had happened, but Mihi was already nodding.

  "The child is beginning to accept you."

  "How did you know?"

  Mihi answered with a question. "When did Adam begin to call you kaihana?"